‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael’s Left Thumb’: OUT NOW!

The front cover of 'Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael's Left Thumb' by Michael A. Grant, with the words 'OUT NOW!' and 'michaelgrantmusician.com/shop' in bright pointy bubbles.
The day has finally arrived! After much ‘umm’ing and ‘ahh’ing, my new project ‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael’s Left Thumb’ is now unleashed onto an entirely suspecting public! And what a beast it is. So the time is nigh to get yourself a copy – go on, do it! What are you waiting for! Ohhhhhhhhhhh…

Find out more here…
 

‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail’: Free Chapter!


It’s only 3 days until the release of my latest creation, ‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael’s Left Thumb’ – a 200-page masterpiece chronicling my experiences walking coast-to-coast in 2022, all told from the perspective of my most underrated digit.

But if that all sounds baffling and disorienting, fear not! To get a taste of what to expect, and to show that it’s not all as intimidating as it may at first seem, you can actually download chapter 1, ‘Hornsea to Hull’, absolutely free! Just visit the following link:
 

 
And don’t forget to return this Saturday 8th March, when you’ll be able to purchase the complete unabridged account, in both physical and ebook formats, from the following page:
 

‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail’: Some Lovely Pictures!

It’s a mere 8 days until my latest project, ‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael’s Left Thumb’ is unleashed on the world! Don’t forget to visit the following link to find out more and pre-order your copy:
 

 
To celebrate, today I thought I’d share some of the lovely photos that I took on the route, and which can be found within the book. Because don’t forget, as well as more than 23,000 words there are also over 140 full-colour photos to be savoured and enjoyed within, cataloguing every stage on my (and my thumb’s) coast-to-coast journey! Here are just a few to whet your appetite…
 


























‘The Last Man Left on Earth’: Live Performance

Today I would like to share with you a video of a song that I wrote several years ago, receiving its world premiere live performance!

The song I’m referring to is called ‘The Last Man Left on Earth’, and is a duet from my musical ‘It’s Not Really the Apocalypse’. It’s not so much a love song as it is a ‘chat-up’ song, and involves the character Gary making amorous advances to Lizzie, only to be well and truly spurned in comedic fashion.

I was lucky enough to have it performed last May at a showcase evening in Stockport Garrick theatre, at which the following footage was recorded. It features the power team of Dominic Lo and Cate Berry on vocals, accompanied by pianist extraordinaire Alex Pollard. As ever, I hope you do enjoy!
 

Incidentally, Stockport Garrick will be holding another showcase evening on Friday 14th March 2025, and will include performances of a few more of my songs. Do come along and say hello if you’re free!

‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael’s Left Thumb’ – Coming on 8th March!

The front cover of 'Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael's Left Thumb', with the text "Coming on 8th March. Pre-order at: www.michaelgrantmusician.com/shop"
It is with great pride and minimal ceremony that I announce the impending release of my latest project: ‘Walking the Trans Pennine Trail with Michael’s Left Thumb’!

In a change from my usual musical-themed endeavours, this time I’ve gone literary and written myself a little book. This 200-page chronicle gives a blow-by-blow account of my experiences walking a 215-mile coast-to-coast route a couple of years ago, all told from the unique perspective of my left thumb (for some reason). It’s fun, interesting, and a little bit daft, and even features lots and lots of pictures to look at if for some reason you don’t like the prose.

I’ll be releasing the book on Saturday 8th March in both printed and ebook formats, but you can already pre-order your copy to make sure you’re among the first to read it! To find out more and download a free preview chapter, have yourself a wee click on the following Internet Link:
 

 
Happy reading! : )

The Gig Review: December 2024

GOOD EVENING! And welcome to… THE GIG REVIEW!

“Oh, it’s a long, long while
From May to December,
But the days grow short
When you reach September.”

– quoth Maxwell Anderson, ‘September Song’

 
November is dead! Long live December!

The final month of the year is often quite a predictable one for most people, and musicians are no exception. It begins with three and a half weeks of manic running around over Advent, fuelled by the promise of a tiny little chocolate each morning to give that much-needed additional energy boost. Christmas parties, wreath-making workshops, multiple school concerts for those involved in the teaching profession, the occasional winter wedding… These are a few of the things that tend to turn up at this time of year.

And let’s not forget panto season, which provides gainful – if intensive – employment for many musicians each year. I played for a pantomime a few years ago and discovered it certainly isn’t for the faint-hearted. 67 performances over a space of 6 weeks, many of them double-show days (and some triple), with only a handful of days off (which didn’t include Christmas Eve or Boxing Day). But on the other hand, the opportunity to book such a solid chunk of work in one go is not one to pass up lightly!

Then we get to Christmas Day, which of course tends to be a proper day off, followed by that strange week at the end of the year when it often feels like the world has gone into limbo for a bit. Life gets put on hold, nothing much really happens, and many of us enter a strange barren wasteland of time where the only landmark to be found is the upcoming year’s end. Having said that, there are still opportunities for musicians to get our kit out and make some noise. As I’ve mentioned, there is no rest for those wicked pantomime players who spend this week working as hard as ever. And there might be the odd rogue birthday party or funeral – last year, for example, I had to pop down to Birmingham to play ‘Stranger on the Shore’ in a graveyard. And in my hometown there is always the Scarborough Boxing Day Band which parades around the seafront damaging people’s hearing and mental health in return for donations to local charities (although in the interests of maintaining a certain enigmatic mystique I won’t cover this in detail in this month’s Review).

Then to finish everything off, see out the old year and launch us back into reality for the next one, we have the traditional festivities of New Year’s Eve – or ‘NYE’ for short. The most popular – and lucrative – musical night of the year, gigs on this date are highly prized and often booked extremely far in advance at prices that regularly exceed double a band’s usual rate. Having said that, the type of music I usually play isn’t so well-suited to late-night drunken revelry, and so I don’t tend to get as much out of NYE as many musicians. It’s a few years since I last had a booking for this date, and the previous times I’d been out on the last night of the year had been nice gentle affairs, each of them bizarrely finishing considerably before midnight! And at the end of the day (/year) I’m not going to complain, because much as it’s nice to charge double fees it’s also nice to have a quiet night off and get to bed at a reasonable time. ROCK AND ROLL! WOOOOOOO!!!

Having now laid out a fairly conventional musical December, I’m now going to leave such a structure in tatters by going through my December, which barely conforms to any of the above format. It just goes to show, the life of a wandering minstrel is never entirely predictable! And so, without further preamble, let me now whisk you away into the wild fantastical rollercoaster ride that was my final month of 2025…
 

Dixie Beats-Working-For-A-Living

According to my diary, the 2nd day of December was an ‘optional’ holiday in Scotland, which seems an interesting concept to me seeing as you’d have to be a right old nerd to consider declining a holiday! “Nah, I’m alright thanks” is not the sort of phrase you’d ever expect to encounter in such a circumstance. But either way, there was no chance of a day off for myself or the other members of Bolton’s leading (and only) Dixieland jazz band The Dixie Beats – not only are we not Scottish, but we had a performance to give!

For what I believe was the 3rd time this year we took ourselves off to Eagley Jazz Club, in the vicinity of Bolton, this time for their annual Christmas bash. It’s a booking we do regularly every year, and the format is a little bit different to usual because rather than the audience sitting round tables sipping drinks they are instead treated to a full Christmas dinner before the performance. Then we take to the stage for a wild evening of entertainment while they digest both their meal and the music.

The annoying thing about this format is that it requires us to arrive unsociably early in order to set up and sound check before the audience gets too invested in their turkey dinner, and this is then followed by a prolonged period of us sitting around the next room waiting to perform, munching on a plate of sandwiches provided by the catering team while the mulled wine and mince pies flow freely next door. This year I chose to be proactive and make efficient use of the extra time, popping out to get some additional snacks and fill up the car with petrol before returning in plenty of time to sneak in a coffee prior to the performance.

Thus fuelled, we launched into what would be our final performance of 2024 and had a whale of a time, incorporating a few festive tunes (not to mention hats and flashing lights) into the show as well. I wouldn’t say I was completely on top form – perhaps I was just a little weary after the protracted waiting-around – but nevertheless it was a fresh and flamboyant evening of music that left the audience entirely satisfied. It was also a great finale to a year of Dixie Beating, and a fun way to say farewell to the other band members until January brought around the next set of gigs.
 
Selfie of The Dixie Beats, following their performance at Eagley Jazz Club in December 2024.

Footloose and Fancy Free

The day after our 2024 Dixie Beats send-off – which if mathematics serves me correctly was Tuesday 3rd – required me to be in London for 12:45 for the dress rehearsal of ‘Footloose’. Cue another early start to get me down there in ample time, and a slightly bleary-eyed performance when I did get to the theatre!
 
View from the Reed players' chair, for a production of 'Footloose' in December 2024.
If you’ve read last month’s Gig Review (and if you haven’t then WHY NOT!!!) then you’ll know this was to be a school production down in Richmond, musical-directed by an old acquaintance of mine from my student days. Being in a school, in the interests of safeguarding I had to be accompanied at all times by a responsible adult, and whenever I signed in at reception I was issued with a bright red Lanyard of Shame to communicate my status as a dubious outsider. The upside to this was that every day I had to pose for a headshot iPad that was used to sign in, and I soon seized the opportunity to pull increasingly absurd faces in the interest of obtaining a good variety of passes. And the other unusual thing about doing a school show was that everyone was referred to by surname only, so throughout the week I was known by the respectfully formal term ‘Mister Grant’. I must confess I rather liked it – it made me feel like I was inhabiting some sort of criminal underworld like the gangsters in ‘Reservoir Dogs’ or ‘The Taking of Pelham One Two Three’.
 
Used visitor passes, showcasing a variety of facial expressions.
You never quite know in this line of work when you’re going to encounter a familiar face, and I was surprised during this show to bump into a character I hadn’t seen for a good 8 years. Specifically, the guitarist – who also teaches at the school and who goes by the name of ‘Mister Holmes’ in such environments (not to be confused with Sherlock). You see, many moons ago I had some occasional work deputising on the West End run of ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’, and guess who was the guitarist for that show? The very same! I wouldn’t say we’re exactly best mates, but it was nice to say hello again and play together, and I also enjoyed overhearing some fantastic anecdotes about his past encounters with Brian May.

In other news, have a look at this fantastic typo in the Reed part that really made me chuckle – I expect the ‘e’ is erroneous:
 
Sheet music from 'Footloose', showing a typo that says 'Improve solo' instead of 'Improv solo'.
Altogether I had a really nice few days loosening my feet on this show, even taking my mahoosive baritone saxomophone down for the 20-or-so bars that it is required. After the dress run on the Tuesday, we had performances from Wednesday through Friday, all of which went pretty smoothly except for the occasional rough edges that always take a bit of time to iron out. The yoofs of today did a very good job onstage from what I could see, and I think we musicians were particularly well appreciated as we were visible up on the balcony. In fact, why not see if you appreciate us too by watching some clips I got of my saxomophone hootings during the show:
 

My only regret was the Friday afternoon, when I had to take my car from my accommodation in Finsbury Park down to the school so I’d be able to cart my baritone away afterwards. A journey of 18 miles, it takes about an hour on a clear run. But at that time, with all that city traffic, it took a full 2 hours – and I’ll let you do the maths regarding my average speed! Urgh, London…
 

Jelly Roll on a Plate, Jelly Roll on a Plate, Wibble Wobble Wibble Wobble, Jelly Roll on a Plate

It wasn’t an especially busy month for regular purveyors of fine TRAD. JAZZ The Jelly Roll Jazz Band, but as ever we must take care to measure by quality rather than quantity, and I can confirm that every twang, boing and squeak sounded as resplendent in December as in any other month. And actually, when you consider that in only 4 gigs we managed to cover a total of 3 countries, it’s been rather an impressive month overall!

All Roads Leed to Leads
Jelly Roll’s first gig of December took place on Saturday 7th, the day after I’d finished rocking away on ‘Footloose’. As we had a couple of weeks previously, we were to take over a small section of Leeds’ branch of John Lewis to play some festive favourites along with our usual TRAD. standards, and thus get people in the mood for spending their festive pennies (in the literal monetary sense, I hasten to add). Unusually, for this date we had only been booked as a duo of clarionet and banjo, our usual bass player not being required for some reason. It seemed odd considering John Lewis surely could have afforded the third player, but the client is always right and therefore for this gig we managed without our lower frequencies.

We were to start playing in the shop at midday, which necessitated driving up from London that morning. Not hugely convenient, until you consider that the friend I had been staying with that week while down in the big city is also Jelly Roll’s banjo player, and consequently we were easily able to car-share for travelling to this latest booking. Even more conveniently, said banjoist had recently bought himself a ‘pedal steel’ (it’s a musical instrument, look it up) on eBay which he needed to collect from Chesterfield – just off the M1, ideally situated on the way from London to Leeds! So off we trotted at the crack of dawn, stopping off on the way to pick up a new toy, and arriving in The North raring to go for another afternoon performing in a department store.
 
The Leeds branch of John Lewis, set up for a festive performance by The Jelly Roll Jazz Band.
Readers of November’s Gig Review will recall that we had a lovely experience the last time we played in John Lewis, and this one was similarly enjoyable. We were both quite tired after the journey up, but had a selection of sofas to rest on and were again treated to a free lunch in the staff cafeteria. It felt a bit incongruous playing in the middle of the shop, and with the Black Friday craziness over with it wasn’t particularly busy, but it made for a nice gentle afternoon of music-making. And actually, although we missed having a bassline it is sometimes good to play as a duo because it’s easier to play around musically and try some different ideas, which helps keep things fresh.

Kelso, So Kel, Everybody Loves Kelso
Having stayed over in Manchester (and gone out with some friends for a superb meal the previous evening), my mysterious banjo friend and I had yet another early start on Sunday 8th in order to get to Kelso Racecourse for Jelly Roll’s 3rd performance there of 2024. It’s funny doing these sorts of events, as you tend to develop close connections with all sorts of odd out-of-the-way places that you wouldn’t even have heard of otherwise. Until this year I couldn’t even have pointed to Kelso on a map, but now I can drive there without using a sat-nav, I know the cheapest petrol station on the way, I know where to pick up snacks for the journey home and at a push I could probably recommend a café in the town centre!

I have also become all too familiar with the local weather conditions, especially over the wintry months with which all our bookings seem to have coincided. So I took extra care to wrap up warm for this gig, knowing all too well that we would be playing outside in less-than-summery conditions. I seem to remember I had 5 layers on my top half – 2 layers of thermals, 1 shirt, 1 suit jacket, and a big coat over the top.

I’m glad I did, because the weather turned out to be especially bad this time. We were meant to do our first set out by the gates as people entered, however had to abandon that plan due to the howling gale and the lashing rain which forced us to find a more sheltered spot by one of the buildings. Then later on, when playing between each of the races, we mainly opted to perform in the bar area where it was warm and dry rather than out amongst the betting stalls, exposed to the elements. After all, that’s where all the crowds were. Events organisers sometimes seem to forget this when booking a band – yes theoretically we can play outdoors when it’s cold and a bit rainy, but there won’t be much point as everyone else will be indoors!

In spite of the weather, the gig went perfectly fine and we seemed to be appreciated by the punters (probably more so as they could see the extra effort we were going to). Then after we’d finished I made the long drive back to Manchester, dropping off the unnamed banjoist and his new pedal steel at Carlisle railway station on the way. And then to bed, lulled to sleep by the disturbing realisation that over the past week I had spent more than 24 hours driving!

A Foggy Day in Chepstow Town
In some ways it is nice to get gigs between Christmas and New Year. For one thing it helps pay the rent, plus it’s good to be in high demand and they help fill up what can be a bit of a dull week. Having said that, they don’t seem like quite such a good idea when you have to pack your car up on Christmas Day, so that the following afternoon – after leaving the house at 9am to join in with the annual Scarborough Boxing Day festivities – you can spend 5 hours driving down to Bristol so as to be in the right place for a booking in South Wales the following morning.

But such was the situation this year, as Jelly Roll had been booked for another racecourse gig, this time down at Chepstow for the prestigious Welsh Grand National. Although it was a long trek, it was made easier by the company of a certain banjo player I keep cryptically referring to, who joined me in listening to our selection of homemade Christmas albums followed by ‘Acker Bilk: Classic Themes’ which he had bought me on CD as a Christmas present. Then on arriving in Bristol we were given accommodation by our bass player, who also returned to me a large bottle of cider which I had been meaning to collect since May.

On the morning of the gig – Friday 27th, that is – it was approximately a 30-minute drive to the racecourse, where as usual we spent a bit of time wandering around trying to find an entrance and someone who knew what they were doing (and more to the point, what we were meant to be doing). Soon we were all set up at the main entrance, just behind the turnstiles, ready to welcome people into the racecourse with our jolly delightful tootlings.
 
A forlorn-looking Christmas tree at Chepstow Racecourse.
As horse races go, this one really wasn’t ideal in terms of weather. Yes we’ve got used to wind and rain and cold at Kelso, but at least those don’t really impede the main attraction of the day. This time, though, a different meteorological phenomenon was determined to hamper the occasion: fog. Areas all over the country were experiencing this sort of weather that week, but at the racecourse it especially seemed to be taking the mick. Not only was the track completely obscured, but you couldn’t even see the massive screens which are meant to show close-ups of the races. The only way anybody could tell what was happening was by the words of the commentator (who must have had some kind of second sight to follow the events’ progress). It really did seem like a bizarre kind of day out.
 
The all-encompassing fog at Chepstow Racecourse, for the Welsh Grand National 2024.
But that wasn’t our problem. We stood in our spot between the turnstiles and the portaloos (“It sounds great from in there,” one man told us upon emerging), looking past the food vans to a thick white nothingness where the racecourse was meant to be. It was a bit chilly but not too bad, and I did enjoy our little performance which attracted plenty of interest and nice comments. We were also offered additional entertainment by a ‘living statue’, who had (presumably) been paid to stand at the entrance scaring attendees out of their wits. On the whole I probably would have preferred to be tucked up in bed watching Christmas telly, but nevertheless it wasn’t a bad little gig at all.

The drive home, however, was hellish. I hadn’t really thought about it, but I suppose 27th December is a busy day on the roads as everyone travels home after visiting friends and family over Christmas (or travels to visit friends and family after being at home over Christmas). It should have taken me 3 hours to get back to Manchester, but the motorways were all like car parks and in the end it took about 5-and-a-half (plus a break). I knew it was bad when I turned on Radio 2 and all they were talking about between songs was how bad the traffic was across the whole country! Perhaps this is another point I should put in the ‘against’ column when it comes to gigging between Christmas and New Year.

’Kelsie’!?! I’ve Been Pronouncing It ‘Kelso’ All This Time!
You’d think that would be enough TRAD. JAZZ for one year, but no – there was still more to be done. On Sunday 29th December I travelled all the way up to Kelso AGAIN for the 4th and final Jelly Roll performance there of 2024.

Having reviewed this particular gig so many times, I don’t think there’s a lot more that I can add. It’s still quite a long way from Manchester – about 3 hours by car, which made for a very long day by the time I’d come all the way back again. But it is actually a nice easy drive. You go pretty much all the way up to Carlisle on the motorway, then through the glorious scenery of the Scottish Borders, the only real annoyance being some inexplicable 20mph limits in a couple of towns along the way. And as for roundabouts, you can probably count them on one hand. Or no hands actually, if you’re clever and can count in your head.

It was much the same routine as usual as far as the playing was concerned – doing a long set at the entrance to welcome the crowds, followed by shorter spots between the first few races. It was a slightly different band set-up to usual though, on account of player availability. On sousaphone was a gentleman we shipped in from Edinburgh so was fairly local, and actually he was quite glad to have the gig as it gave him a good excuse to get away from the family, to whom he had become a little overexposed over the festive period! And on banjo was a familiar acquaintance from the Scarborough vicinity, but his travel was made considerably easier by the fact he had recently had some family members move to Northumberland, so he had come up the previous day and stayed with them.

As we’ve learned the hard way this year, Kelso Races is always a challenging environment to perform in. I must say though that this time we had the best weather to date – a bit chilly and windy (it’s always windy) but at least the sun was shining and there was no rain. It’s always hard to tell if people are enjoying it there as well, with most of them being focussed on basically everything except the background music, but we did have a few nice comments and appreciative looks so hopefully it went down alright!

And that was not only the final Jelly Roll gig of 2024, but the year’s final gig full stop! After one more long drive home my work for the year was done, and I could look forward to some time off and a nice rest in January.
 

The Local Band (for Local People)

Kelso may have been the year’s last gig, but in true unchronological fashion it is only the penultimate performance of the 2024 Gig Review. To tell you about the very final one, I have to take you back a week or so to Friday 20th, and a pub in Stockport.

The gig in question isn’t a particularly grand one in terms of scale, at least compared to some of the 3-hour slogs I find myself doing. Essentially, a friend of mine was playing with his band at ‘The Blossoms’, a local pub which I’m told is culturally significant for inspiring the name of indie rock band ‘Blossoms’. Apparently.

But that’s by the by – my mate’s band is called The Local, and developed out of a similarly-named musical that he wrote a long long time ago in a galaxy not very far away (this one). In fact, in this modern age of wonder you can listen to them playing and singing without even going to a live performance! Just click on the following link to experience the magic of the modern age:
 

 
As it was nearly CHRISTMAS, to add a festive vibe to the evening they had decided to include a cover version of Greg Lake’s ‘I Believe in Father Christmas’. For this I had been drafted in to play a little flute, with a-lady-with-whom-I-share-some-close-acquaintance (and who often makes me sandwiches even if I don’t ask at all) contributing some mellow trumpet tootings to boot. We all had a nice little get-together that morning, blasting through the song a couple of times to check it was all fine, and then it was basically ready for showtime. That’s the great thing about being able to sight-read – if you can just follow the music, you don’t really need to rehearse!
 
'The Local', performing at The Blossoms in Stockport in December 2024.
The gig that evening was in a room above the pub, which when I think about it is one of those classic venue types I had never yet performed in. Pubs, yes, but never the iconic ‘room above a pub’. There were a few different bands playing (not at the same time, obviously), and it was great to see such an attentive and respectful audience really taking in all the music – not always what you expect to find in a boozer. I really enjoyed listening to most of The Local’s set and then playing for their penultimate song, and I think it went down well with the crowd. In short, it was a lovely evening and then I went home to bed.
 
A flute and a trumpet, set up on stage and waiting to perform at The Blossoms, in Stockport.
What’s more, it seems there is videographic evidence of the performance to dispel any lingering doubts you may have regarding my reliability and authenticity! If you want to be transported back to that very time and place, simply feast your eyes and ears on this little beauty:
 

 
All of which brings me to the end of the December 2024 gig review, and indeed the entirety of 2024! I hope you’ve enjoyed these little insights into my gigging life, and until next time: good riddance!

Gig of the Month
It occurs to me that I have made it this far through the year without The Dixie Beats receiving a single Gig of the Month award! So I’m going to correct this injustice now and, in recognition of not just one but many sterling performances over the whole of 2024, give it to The Dixie Beats’ sold-out Christmas spectacular at Eagley Jazz Club.

What We’ve Learned
Never travel on 27th December.

Do You Want to Buy a Piccolo?

…to paraphrase a rather famous musical. Or, to paraphrase a less deserving piece of theatre, “One piccolo, piccolo for sale!”

Seriously though, having recently treated myself to a snazzy new piccolo, I am now looking to dispose of my old Yamaha in a humane and decent manner. So if anyone wants it, let me know!
 
Yamaha YPC32 Piccolo in case
It’s just a basic YPC32, but if you’re looking for a solidly built workhorse instrument that won’t let you down, I would certainly recommend it. I got it in 2014 for a university production of ‘Anything Goes’, ordering it online when I was meant to be working on my 4th year computational chemistry project! Since then I have played it in around 12 other musicals (4 of them ‘Oliver!’) and on numerous remote recording sessions. It’s looking a bit worn these days, but if you don’t judge a book by its cover I think you’ll find it plays just swell.

Don’t believe me? Have a listen to this little clip that I recorded the other week to demonstrate:

And maybe this video of me playing it in ‘Shrek The Musical’ a few years ago:

If you’re interested, it’s available to buy via:
 

 
Or just drop me a message at the usual address!

The Gig Review: November 2024

GOOD EVENING! And welcome to… THE GIG REVIEW!

“Thirty days has September,
April, June, and November.”

– quoth Anon. (and no it’s not cheating!)

 
Remember remember the 5th of November, clarinets piccolos and flutes… And you might as well remember all the other days of the month while you’re at it, because it’s time now for us to put on our memory hats and reminisce about all the wonderful goings-on that kept us occupied in month number 11! I use the term ‘us’ loosely of course. What I really mean is ‘me’.

In many ways, November is a month just like any other, albeit more conducive to cosy indoor performances than al fresco playing. Wedding season has kind of dwindled away and the festivities of Hallowe’en and Oktoberfest are but a distant memory. If only there were something else to look forward to that could justify a little musical accompaniment…

But of course there is such a festival just around the corner, and no matter how firmly in denial you may be, whether you like it or not it’s the time of year to start thinking about the C word: CHRISTMAS! As a matter of fact, for musicians November is quite late in the day to plan for the festive season. Remember that, for performances to be ready in time for the big day, they often have to be prepared weeks or even months in advance. Particularly during my schooldays, I seem to remember it feeling like no sooner had we returned from the summer holidays than all the musical groups would start practising their Christmas repertoire. And there are plenty of early festive-themed events going on throughout the year’s penultimate month too. I remember a couple of years ago I spent 18 near-consecutive days performing at a Christmas market, doing 3 hours of playing a day, and by the time the market finished on November 23rd I was so sick of festive tunes that it seemed perverse that the rest of the world was only just starting to gear up for the season!

Luckily this year I’ve enjoyed a little more variety, so while this month’s Review will feature a few tinsel-bedecked and sleighbell-soundtracked performances there will be plenty of other curveballs to keep you guessing and wondering, “My my, what will that man get up to next?” And with that, it seems the perfect moment to knuckle down to the nitty gritty business of exploring my November adventures.
 

Look Out, Look Out, Lloyd Webber’s About

I seem to have developed a knack in recent months of booking in an extremely local gig for as soon as I return from a holiday. Back in August I came back from my travels, and the following day I only had to go a mere 2 miles down the road to earn my keep at a wedding reception. And on 2nd November, having returned the previous afternoon from a pleasant few days away, I only had to shift myself 4 miles in order to attend my latest engagement.

The performance in question was an Andrew Lloyd Webber themed concert produced by St. Dunstan’s Amateur Operatic & Dramatic Society, in Manchester. It had been running all week but I was only stepping in to help out with the final two shows on the Saturday. My instruments for this one were flute, clarionet, tenor saxomophone and baritone saxomophone, and as a ‘depping’ gig it was very much a straight-in-at-the-deep-end, no-rehearsal, here’s-the-part-now-play-it-as-though-you-know-what-you’re-doing kind of thing. Fortunately I’ve always been good with the old sight-reading game, and so while I may have fudged the odd tricky bit here and there I managed to play both performances (matinee and evening) without any major disasters. I even acquitted myself well in the 5/8 concentration-fest that is the title song from ‘Sunset Boulevard’, which as anyone who’s ever played it will know, is no mean feat! And what’s more, because it was so close to home I got to go back for a lovely home-cooked meal between shows.
 
View from the woodwind musician's perspective, for St. Dunstan’s Amateur Operatic & Dramatic Society's November 2024 Andrew Lloyd Webber revue.
The show as a whole sounded great from my vantage point in the orchestra pit, and it was especially nice to play in such a large band. I seem to recall there were about 15 of us in total, which is rare for theatre shows, and as a result it sounded spectacular. Producers take note: sometimes it actually is worth spending a bit extra to have more musicians!

Whilst both performances did go very smoothly on the whole, there was one little hiccup that is worth recounting as a mildly amusing anecdote. It happened in the matinee – the first time I’d done the show. We played the overture (taken from ‘Sunset Boulevard’ I seem to remember), with the musical director conducting from the front as he wasn’t required to play any piano for that number. Then immediately after that we transitioned into the Prologue from ‘Cats’, which opens in a very minimal fashion with just some isolated solo instruments punctuated by occasional piano chords. Well the MD lowered his hands to play the keyboard… and not a sound came out! His next twenty seconds or so were spent in mild panic trying to work out which switch hadn’t been activated or which cable hadn’t been plugged in or which volume knob had been turned down, whilst frantically continuing to conduct lest the rest of us should lose our places and the whole thing fall to pieces entirely! Luckily he managed to fix the issue very quickly but it was a tense moment (not to mention a bit of a baffling one).
 

One ‘Beauty-and-the-Beast’, ‘Beauty-and-the-Beast’ in Sale

The morning following my Lloyd Webber shenanigans – or to give it its full title, Sunday 3rd November – I made my way down to Sale in South Manchester for the band call of my next production: ‘Beauty and the Beast’, with Junior Stage 80. This show has always held a special place in my heart as it’s one of the first musicals I ever played in, back when I was a fresh-faced 17-year-old VI Form student. For that production I had played Reed 3 (clarinet, bass clarinet and flute), however due to my limited doubling abilities at the time I did it all on clarinet. I enjoyed it so much, though, that after the end of the run I thought to myself, “Hmm, if I want to do more of these kinds of gigs I should really learn some more instruments.” Consequently, a few months later I bought myself a flute and the rest is history!

See if you can spot me in this photo of the band from the first time I played this show all those years ago… Don’t ask me why we all look like we’re wearing lipstick!
 
The orchestra from Scarborough YMCA's 2010 production of 'Beauty and the Beast'.
It’s not an easy musical to play, by any means (and if I’m completely honest, that challenge is part of why it appeals to me). Reed 3 is very technically difficult even for a first-study clarinettist like me. And this latest production was set to be even more challenging because I had been booked to play Reed 1, which features only flute and piccolo – instruments I’d never even attempted the last time I did the show! Knowing what a tricky part it would be to play, and wanting to do a good job for the sake of music which I love so well, when I was initially booked to play for this production back in February I immediately set about looking through the part and spent a considerable amount of time over the following nine months practising the fiddly bits and exercising my fingers, in an effort to get into top fluting form in time for November. You may think this a bit excessive for such a small number of performances, however I was very keen to do the music justice and also aware that any time I spent working on this specific music would also be of general benefit to my flute and piccolo playing, so the effort was well worth putting in.

To further improve my chances of doing a half-decent job, I even bought myself a new piccolo! Again, this was something that would benefit my playing in general and so I had been considering it for some time. But this production seemed like as good an excuse as any, and so earlier this year I parted with my trusty old Yamaha 32 after 10 years of loyal service and treated myself to a Guo ‘New Voice’ piccolo. Or, as it has since been christened by my family, a LEGO piccolo – look, it’s made of plastic! Oooooooh…
 
Guo 'New Voice' piccolo ('saddle brown' colour), in its wooden case.
At some point I may get round to reviewing the Guo and maybe even sharing some comparative audio samples pitting it against the Yamaha. But for now I have more storytelling to be getting on with. Now where was I…

Ah yes, on Sunday 3rd I pootled down to Sale Waterside Arts Centre, armed with my new instrument and many months of preparatory practice, for our first rehearsal. It was great to play through the music as part of a band at last, but what made it extra special was all the familiar faces present. The musical director was the same lady who had done ‘Oliver!’ (the Northwich one back in February), and the bassist and clarinettist had also played for that show so it almost felt like a little family reunion! Further more, playing trumpet with considerable ‘beans’ was a-lady-with-whom-I-share-some-close-acquaintance (and who also makes me sandwiches if I ask nicely), which provided the cherry on the top of an already substantial cake of a week. Oh, and another familiar face turned up in the shape of the sound man, whom I had met back in October 2022 playing a production of (you guessed it) ‘Oliver!’ up in Heywood. What a small world!

There was another rehearsal on the Monday, then performances from Tuesday to Saturday. Unusually there was no Friday evening show or Saturday matinee, which made the schedule feel particularly forgiving and civilised. In some ways it would have been nice to have the extra performances for a production I was enjoying so much, but then it’s probably better not to risk having too much of a good thing, and instead to leave people wanting more.

And want more we did! It was a really excellent production, and I must congratulate the cast for giving superb performances all round. There were some terrific vocal performances, and I was particularly pleased to hear someone do justice to The Beast, a role which in my opinion was sadly deficient on both the original West End and Broadway recordings. The only negative from my perspective was that there were only 6 of us in the band – flute, clarinet, trumpet, piano, bass and drums – when it really needs the full 19-piece orchestration to give it its full impact. But then there are only so many instruments you can squeeze into the corner of a theatre, and besides this gives me a good excuse to do the show again in future when a production comes along with the scope for the full orchestra! Oh, and also I was sat far too close to the drum kit which meant I had to spend the entire week playing with earplugs in…
 
View from the Reed 1 player's perspective, for Junior Stage 80's 2024 production of 'Beauty and the Beast'.
Although the performances themselves were most enjoyable, travelling to them wasn’t always such a good experience. On the face of it, the show was in a really convenient location for me – less than 9 miles from my front door, which usually took around 20 minutes to drive. But on the Thursday I got caught up in that great destroyer of journeys: football traffic! Oh my, it gives me the shakes even just thinking back to it. I knew things were bad when, after 15 minutes in the car, I could still see my flat! To cut a long story short, in total it took a full hour to get to the theatre that night, at an average speed that didn’t even rise into double figures. At 7:28 pm I made it to my seat, not a little stressed, accompanied by the tannoy announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, the show will begin in two minutes.” Luckily the announcer was being a little optimistic and I did ultimately have time to put my instrument together and have a vague warm-up before the overture began, but still! Football, eh? Too popular for its own good. If only so many people were obsessed with coming to TRAD. JAZZ gigs I’d be able to retire after about a month!
 

’Elf’ and Safety in Northwich

It was a very theatrical month for me, November, and no sooner had I finished ‘Beauty and the Beast’ (or ‘B&B’ as I like to call it) than I was onto the next show, with a rehearsal for The Zodiac‘s production of ‘Elf’ on Sunday 10th. Fortunately I wasn’t doing the whole week for this one, but instead just covering a couple of dates where the regular Reed 3 player was unavailable. Much as I’d have liked to do the entire run, I’ve learnt from experience that doing 2 musicals back-to-back does end up feeling like a bit of a marathon!

The theatre for this production was over in Northwich, about half an hour’s drive from me. So not too bad in terms of travel, however in terms of instrumentation it was rather less practical! For this one I was required to play the cumbersome combination of flute, clarionet, bass clarionet, baritone saxomophone and bassooooooooon, which meant several trips to and fro between a full car and the theatre merely to get all the equipment in! Then it takes ages to get all five instruments set up, and it’s only then that the real challenges begin. It’s hard enough juggling multiple instruments when they’re little ones like flute and alto saxophone. But try playing for several minutes on a baritone saxophone, then having about 10 seconds to throw it down and pick up a bassoon ready for an important solo, followed by another quick change to the beast that is the bass clari! It’s quite a work-out, and there’s the ever-present worry of a precious delicate instrument crashing to the ground mid-song because you’ve not placed it carefully enough on its stand. Even just keeping the reeds intact becomes a challenge: I noticed that when I was playing bassoon it was very difficult not to keep hitting the reed of the bass clarinet over to my left; then when playing baritone saxophone it was by no means easy not to hit the bassoon reed; and of course there’s not much room to play flute without clashing with the baritone on its stand to my right!

In the end I managed to get through the rehearsal without destroying anything expensive. But then on Wednesday 13th I returned to Northwich to play for an actual performance, and was faced with yet more challenges! Due to the lack of space (the band was laid out in the narrow gap between the back of the stage and the rear wall of the theatre) there was only room for me to sit facing the back wall, with the musical director several metres to my left. Therefore the only way for me to see him and follow his cues was to look out of the far left corner of my eye – and even then I had to lean forwards slightly to see past one of the other keyboard players! That, combined with the logistics of switching between massive instruments and the fact I was still more-or-less sight-reading, made for quite a tricky evening’s work.
 
The Reed 3 player's chair for The Zodiac's November 2024 production of 'Elf The Musical' at The Grange Theatre, Hartford.
Tell you what though, it did sound great! I was pretty happy with my own playing, and the rest of the band was populated with some real first-class musicians. It did occur to me actually while I was playing that it couldn’t have been far off professional touring or West End standard, and as a result I had a great time of it. As for the show itself, my overall impression was that it was fun to play and the arrangements were really well put-together, but musically and dramatically I found it rather shallow. Put it this way: I’ve never seen the film, and after playing the show I still have no desire to! But from the perspective of a woodwind musician it was a challenging and fun experience to play for it.

What’s more, you too can get a small taste of the experience by watching the following video, which features clips of some of my saucy baritone saxomophone playing from the above production:
 

Loosening My Feet with ‘Footloose’ in London

My final theatrical experience of November – at least, as a performer – took place on Thursday 28th when I travelled all the way down to London for a rehearsal of ‘Footloose’. This is another one of those gigs that spans multiple months, as performances didn’t actually commence until December, and therefore you’ll have to wait until next month to find out how the shows actually went. But for now, here are the facts as we know them…

The venue for this grand spectacular was a private school down in West London, where an old friend of mine from university has recently got a job as head of music. It was really nice to receive his email a few months ago asking if I’d like to be involved in the show – it’s over 4 years since we last crossed paths, and 9 since we last performed together when he conducted me as part of Durham University Symphony Orchestra in Ravel’s ‘Daphnis et Chloé Suite No.2’. So this was to be as much an opportunity for a little catch-up as it was a gig.

This was the second time I’d played ‘Footloose’, the first being a production in Congleton 2 years ago when I’d been brought in to help add some life to the dead-as-a-doornail backing tracks that the company had hired. This time though I was glad to be part of a full 8-piece band made up entirely of actual living humans, so it was a great opportunity to finally do the music justice. In terms of instruments, the part calls for flute, clarinet, tenor saxophone and baritone saxophone. So as you can imagine there’s a lot of rocky growly saxomophone in the part to enjoy! Oddly enough though the baritone only plays for about 20 bars in the entire show – really it can be dispensed with entirely, and I didn’t bother bringing it along for this rehearsal. However in my determination to do a nice authentic job in performance I did plan to transport it down for the upcoming show week.

Musically the run-through didn’t pose any real issues, as it’s quite a straightforward show overall and the parts are well-written for each instrument (with the exception of some inexplicable glaring typos). We musicians were placed up on the balcony at the side of the theatre, which meant I would even have the luxury of a partial view of the stage. What did mar the rehearsal though from my point of view was a lack of music stand lights. These are really crucial for theatre gigs when the musicians are required to perform in the dark, and I do in fact have my own at home which I bought many years ago after growing sick of the dreadful cheap-and-nasty options that are all too often provided, and which gradually go from dim to dimmer to useless over the course of a production. I hadn’t brought it to this rehearsal as there were lights available at the school which we’d be using for the performances, however sadly they weren’t brought along to the run-through and so I spent the afternoon with my face inches away from the music stand, peering through the darkness in an attempt to attain some concept of what notes I was meant to be playing. So not the most favourable of circumstances, but looking on the bright side, at least it gave me a good excuse if I played anything wrong!

Following the rehearsal I stayed over in London and headed back up to Manchester via the Peak District the following day. But more about that later. And more about ‘Footloose’ later, too! Tune in next month to find out how I got on with the performances.
 

TRAD. JAZZ Lives On with The Dixie Beats

It’s been a busy old year for The Dixie Beats, Bolton’s leading (and only) Dixieland jazz band, for whom I am proud to play my clarionet on a regular basis. Unfortunately I had to miss out on one of their gigs this month as it clashed with the Footloose rehearsal, but I thought that justified seeing as it’s the only one of their performances I’ve missed in 2 years. Plus it was Didsbury Cricket Club, who see enough of me as it is.

Despite that one absence, I was still due to give two performances with the band in November. Little did I know that gods of TRAD. JAZZ had other ideas…

Bolton Wanderings
On Saturday 16th we went over to Little Lever, in Bolton, to play something that’s quite a rarity for us: a concert! Most of our gigs are at jazz clubs, and while they invariably have attentive audiences they tend to be reasonably informal, with attendees sitting around tables and getting up to get a pint and some crisps from the bar as they see fit. This booking would see us up on stage, with the audience seated in rows and hanging on our every word (or note).

If this sounds intimidating, don’t worry – it wasn’t really. And it was made even less intimidating by the familiarity of the venue. Because the church we were to perform in is actually the place we use for our weekly rehearsals! Coincidence? Not on your nelly! Part of the deal with us practising there is that they give us a reduction on the hire cost in return for us playing a fundraising concert for them every year, and this, my friends, was that concert.

As usual the band gave a spirited and lively performance, full of fun and energy and SMOKIN’ HOT TRAD. JAZZ! The audience was unfortunately not quite as plentiful as last year, however their quality was beyond reproach and they were very appreciative of our stylish swinging sounds.

Let it Glossop, Let it Glossop, Let it Glossop
Jazz clubs vary quite broadly in their policy for booking bands. Some, like Didsbury, are happy to have groups play on a regular basis and so we musicians get quite used to playing there every few months or so. Others, however, book a wider range of bands but less regularly and don’t tend to have the same group more than once in a year.

One of the latter sort of clubs is Glossop Jazz Club, for whom we do one performance a year in the lead-up to Christmas. This catches the band in a rare festive mood, and we add some extra sparkle to the set with Santa hats, antlers, fairy lights, and a few of our more Christmassy tunes. Last year I even got some Jingle Bells references into my ‘St. Philip Street Breakdown’ solos!

This year’s booking was a little earlier than usual, on Thursday 21st November (a whole month earlier than last year, in fact), but it was set to be our most wintry one yet. So wintry, in fact, that we didn’t get to do it at all…

I set off in the car nice and early that evening, to get there with plenty of time to set up and to account for any lingering rush-hour traffic. Got round the Manchester ring road with no real problems. Then just as I turned off onto the M67 towards Sheffield some white stuff started falling from the sky. No big deal – the show must go on and all that. But then it got heavier. And heavier. And then I realised the road hadn’t been gritted so the snow was starting to lay nice and thick. So thick that I couldn’t see any of the road markings, and had to drive very gingerly with my left wheels on the ‘edge line’ in order to feel where the side of the road was! Fortunately the snowfall slackened after a while and the going became a little easier, but at its worst it felt very much like I was looking out of the Millennium Falcon’s cockpit while entering hyperspace.

Have a look at this video clip to see what I mean… I should add the disclaimer, by the way, that this was taken by my passenger (in case you thought I’d try to simultaneously drive and operate a camera)! Also the beautiful violin solo was added in postproduction. Neither of us was attempting to play awful violin during the journey.
 

They weren’t the best travelling conditions by any means, and the rest of the journey was similarly fraught. The closer I got to Glossop, the more I longed for nice flat roads and regretted that my destination was so close to the Pennines, that notoriously not-flat part of the country. Some roads were better than others and the actual snowfall abated after a while, but the latter part of the route took me along small residential streets where all the markings were now inconveniently obscured and which often featured a significant incline. The hairiest moment occurred on just one of these uphill slopes, where my car lost grip briefly, and for a second I was rather concerned I might actually get stuck. But no, my trusty jazzmobile and I plodded on inch by inch, tentatively making our way to the venue even when a slippery patch brought us all too close to acquainting ourselves with a bush.

Finally, after almost an hour of travelling, the end was in sight and the sat-nav told me I was five minutes away from the venue. Despite everything I was nearly there, unscathed and still plenty early enough to set up in good time for the performance. Perhaps there would be no audience on account of the weather. Perhaps we’d have to finish early. Perhaps we’d get stuck in Glossop overnight and have to stay on some jazz lovers’ sofas. So many possibilities, but none of it mattered for now because I knew I’d make it to the venue on time!

And then I received a phone call. It was our bandleader. The show was cancelled because of the snow.

So I turned round and went all the way home again. Stopping off at Tesco, by the way, for some much-needed chocolate and alcohol!

The upshot of the story is that the evening’s performance was rearranged for Thursday 16th January. Although I don’t want to hold my breath, considering how much worse the January weather tends to be compared to November!
 

Jelly Good Fun

It’s a rare thing for me to get through an entire month without at least one gig with the TRADding powerhouse that is The Jelly Roll Jazz Band. Well, November was no exception to this trend and towards the end of the month I enjoyed 3 contrasting bookings where I hooted away on clarionet with our motley trio.

All’s Fair at the South of England Showground
The first Jelly Roll gig of the month actually came quite late, on Saturday 23rd. In my continual efforts to get us more agricultural show gigs (what can I say – I just like sheep!) I emailed the South of England Agricultural Society earlier in the year asking if they like TRAD. JAZZ, and it turns out the answer is ‘yes’ because they subsequently booked us to play at their Winter Fair. This was a two-day event but we were only performing on the first day, which was a bit of a shame seeing as it was such a long way for me to travel, but then one gig is better than no gigs at all! And after all, if they liked us they might even consider us when looking for bands for their big summer show.

The event took place, appropriately enough, at the South of England Showground near Crawley. I of course drove down the previous day and stayed over in a cheap no-frills Airbnb, and while it was a very long journey which involved sitting on the M25 for much longer than I would have liked, I still infinitely preferred it to my drive to Glossop the preceding day! The other band members, however, travelled down from London, and I picked them up from a nearby railway station on the Saturday morning to take them to the venue. And I must say, for someone who rarely travels further south than London (especially by car) it felt really weird indeed to be seeing roadsigns for Brighton.

We weren’t sure exactly what to expect when we arrived, but we had been told there would be a music stage so once we’d parked up and unloaded our stuff we set about searching for that. We usually play more as background entertainment rather than being on stage, however we do perform on the music stage at Bakewell Country Festival every year and were anticipating something similar here. In other words, a big festival-style stage with speakers, microphones and a couple of sound guys to keep everything in order.

Alas, the reality was quite different and when we did eventually locate the stage we found it to be little more than a small platform in a massive barn amongst all the food vendors, decorated with a skating polar bear backdrop and adorned with a simple Christmas tree at either side. In other words, a little more rustic than we had expected!
 
The music stage at the South of England Showground's 2024 Winter Fair.
We played several short sets over the course of the day, but I must say the audiences were atrocious. If you’re reading this and you saw us performing at the South of England Showground Winter Fair, I have a question for you: Why were you so atrocious!?! Don’t you realise that it’s polite to offer at least a light round of applause when a performer you’ve been listening to reaches the end of a song? Unlike the Dixie Beats concert earlier in the month, it’s not like they were short of quantity – there must have been hundreds of people in that massive barn, so many that even we musicians struggled to find a seat at times, and there were plenty sitting in front of the stage listening to the music. It surely wouldn’t have killed them to show some sign of interest. But no, as I commented to my fellow band members at the time, it was like playing to the living dead!
 
The food barn at the South of England Showground's 2024 Winter Fair.
In summary, then, it wasn’t the most receptive of crowds, which meant it wasn’t the most rewarding of performances. However we did play well and, as always, put our full effort into the gig. I can only hope that, somewhere beneath that sea of blank indifferent faces, people were enjoying it more than they appeared!

Once we had finished, I dropped the others back at the railway station and made the long boring journey back up to Manchester, ready for the next day’s Jelly Rolling. But just as a coda to this gig, I’ll mention that I’m very glad we’d been booked for the Saturday rather than the Sunday, because in the end the second day of the fair had to be cancelled anyway due to the inclement weather!

The John Lewis Christmas Jazz Band
The day following the South of England Fair – which if you’ve been paying attention you’ll know was Sunday 24th – saw Jelly Roll undertake a rather more cushy gig (mainly because it was indoors). We had been booked to play in the Leeds branch of John Lewis, to provide some festive entertainment and give their customers a little extra jollity while they embarked on their early Christmas shopping. Or late Hallowe’en shopping – who am I to make assumptions?

It was a really cosy one, this, largely because we were basically placed in a mock living room in the middle of the department store. There were little side tables, ornaments, a Christmas tree, and actually a choice of very nice sofas for us to rest on! We were on the third floor of the shop, playing towards the central void with its escalators going up and down, and it was really fun watching people’s reactions as they spotted us on their way through the levels of the shop.
 
Looking out over the escalators at the Leeds branch of John Lewis, November 2024.
On the whole it felt like a very classy kind of setting, and the type of gig we’d quite happily do on a regular basis. We did receive some appreciative looks and comments from many of the shoppers as well, and because we were playing out across the centre of the shop it felt like we could be heard over a wide area and several floors despite being a small unamplified group. As usual I played the spoons that day as well as my TRAD. JAZZ CLARIONET, and after every solo it was so tempting to say, “And you can buy your own set of spoons in our cutlery department on level 2.”

As evidence of the sort of quality airwave manipulation you can expect from us, I took my all-seeing all-hearing camera along and got a charming little video of us performing ‘Someday My Prince Will Come’. Not particularly Christmassy I admit, until you realise it’s from ‘SNOW White’! (Apologies to regular followers of the band’s Facebook page, who have heard that joke before.)
 

The Bell Tolls in Mellor
Skipping merrily forward to Friday 29th takes me to the final Jelly Roll gig of the month, which was also my final gig of the month and furthermore the final gig of this month’s Gig Review! Awwwww. Go on, say it, I know it’s what you’re thinking: Awwwww.

Having been in London the previous day for my Footloose rehearsal, it was on the Friday morning that I drove up, banjo player in tow, to the Peak District village of Mellor. It was one of those irritating journeys that goes perfectly smoothly until you are half a mile from the gig, when you discover the one road leading to the venue is closed and you spend the next half an hour trying to find a suitable diversion round an inscrutable network of narrow country lanes, all the while in danger of getting stuck on a farm track that your sat-nav for some reason thinks is a main road! But not to worry – we got there. But I remain convinced that National Highways are spying on me and continually making a effort to close whichever road is likely to cause me the most irritation.

The venue itself was a very old church on top of a steep hill overlooking the rolling valleys below, and goodness me was it atmospheric! We were there to play for a funeral, giving the traditional New Orleans style procession by leading the hearse from the church to the main road after the service, and you couldn’t have asked for a more picturesque day. Gone were the snows of the previous week (thank goodness!), and in their place was a gentle mist shrouding the hills with a low winter sun bringing a glowing radiance to the landscape. Overlooking the scenery was the village church, surrounded by leafless trees silhouetted against the bright sky, its single bell tolling mournfully. It were proper Heathcliff, I tell ya!

There was quite a lot of waiting around on our part, as we weren’t due to play until the service had ended. Luckily, while it wasn’t exactly summery, the weather was a vast improvement on the previous week so we were able to huddle in the entrance of the church without catching too much of a chill while we waited for the congregation to emerge. Which they did eventually, although the service did overrun by a considerable margin – much to the chagrin of the funeral directors, who were becoming increasingly concerned that the party might miss their time slot at the crematorium!

At that point we began playing and commenced the long walk down the hill to the main road, followed by the chief pallbearer with the hearse directly behind him. It’s an unnerving thing to walk slowly down a hill with several cars following behind, but I’m glad to say all drivers present were sufficiently diligent on their brake pedals! It did seem like a strange format though. Fair enough if it’s a funeral procession walking through a town or a crematorium for example, with crowds of mourners milling around to pay their respects. But we were at the front of the procession, playing forwards, and everyone else was behind in cars. So even though the symbolism may have been appropriate, at the end of the day could anybody actually hear us?

The second part of the gig, however, definitely gave us a chance to be heard as we convened in a local pub to play for the wake. We were soon joined by those from the funeral, many of them having taken part in the crematorium service (which presumably they weren’t too late for in the end). And from that point it felt like any other type of gig really – playing jazz in a corner with guests milling about, enjoying drinks and helping themselves to the provided buffet. If it wasn’t for the outfits it could have been a wedding or a birthday party really, although I’m sure the conversations would have been rather different.

Anyway, once we’d finished playing we said goodbye to the family member who had booked us, and who expressed her gratitude for our performance which had been very well-received. Then we packed up and went our separate ways, and I bid farewell to yet another month of gigging.
 
 
All of which brings me to the end of the November 2024 gig review! See you next month for more retrospective fun.

Gig of the Month
It’s going to have to be ‘Beauty and the Beast’, isn’t it? After all, that’s the only one I was looking forward to so much that I started practising for it in February!

What We’ve Learned
Football ruins everything.